


The Train to Nowhere

by totallynotnatalie



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28740591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallynotnatalie/pseuds/totallynotnatalie
Summary: A bit of creative writing
Relationships: Original Characters - Relationship





	The Train to Nowhere

To whoever finds this journal, 

I ask that you read it with an open mind. My world is different than your own and my perspective far more limited. I do not mean such things as an excuse. Nothing may excuse some of the accounts detailed here. I only write it to give you a word of warning. I don't know who you are or even if you are of this planet, but I know that your experience is so fundamentally different than mine that my words will never fully convene it. And, if you considered such a statement arrogant, I will ask you again to read this fully before you pass judgment.

You see, I'm a middle. At least, that's one term for it. There are others-second generation, traveling baby, in-betweener, hopelessly lost. But they all mean the same thing. I was born on a train headed to expand our planet's satellite colony. If you're from here, you probably know it. If you're not, then you really only need to know that it's far away. Our planet is one of the largest, and at least of the time of writing, it is impossible to reach the other side in anything less than three generations. 

However, as I'm sure you realize, humans are a determined species. Years before I was born, some overly optimistic settlers decided to build a train track to nowhere. Nobody knows how long it took them, but eventually, their descendants made it to the other side. We know because they sent letters back to us. The drones can travel faster than the train. On average, they only take about three years each way. Even so, you can imagine the surprise when they wrote back from nowhere. We never sent one expecting any type of response. I wasn't alive then, but I'm told that people rejoiced. Though, I don't know why. 

The letters explained that they were seeking more colonists for their new world. Their numbers were few and their bloodlines were running thin. Although, in all honesty, I think that they craved connection. If I know one thing, it's that we all eventually long to meet someone new. I think must be why so many couples make babies, each other's company has grown stale and they long for new life. I wish that the reason was I made, but it wasn't. 

My parents were one of six couples that were elected to begin the journey back to the colony. Since the train was built with the limited resources of the new world, it could only hold six families. I was told that many applied, but that they only picked the best and brightest. I think that my parents were chosen because they were scientists. I never cared enough to ask them though. On the train, I was taught that we were all equals which meant it didn't matter what my parents did. 

Except, we obviously weren't equals. The adults mattered more than children and we all mattered more than Phillip. Each family was meant to only have one child. It was all the train could hold. The plan was to pair each offspring off with another to create a diverse gene pool for the new colony. Surprisingly, it mostly worked as they thought it would. Except for Phillip, each family had one child. Three boys and three girls, including me. Margo's family was allowed to have two because of Phillip. They almost weren't allowed because they thought that Margo might be born feeble-minded as well, but she definitely wasn't. She was almost perfect. We told that we all were, except for Phillip. 

In all honesty, we were never truly children. We had been trained from birth for our sole purpose-creating the colony's future citizens. We would never live to see the new world. Our function was simply to raise the generation that would. Unlike our parents, we would never know the old world and, unlike our children, we would never grow to love the new one. We, the middles, were simply trapped on a train to nowhere. It was not a purpose we choose, yet it was one that we all felt forced to accept. 

I write this simply so that somebody might know our fate. For, nobody else will ever experience a world that is just seven people on a train. And I feel the need to tell each of their stories in turn. They are people that I love and people that I hate. Except for Phillip. He was just my best friend. In fact, he was everyone's best friend, especially after our parents died. I wish I could explain it properly, but my mind never quite put it into words. All I can give you is two years. One is the year I turned eighteen and the other is the year that I turned twenty-seven. While not the detailed account that you might have wished for, I hope my words might give some understanding of who we were and what happened to us. 

Margo:  
My parents died on my eighteenth birthday. All of ours did. I'm told that non-middles find such things sad, but for us, it had always been planned. Our parents were meant to die once we all came of age. It saved resources and meant less weight for the train to carry. And, since I was the youngest, I always knew that their deaths would fall on my birthday. None of them faced it with any form of dread. They all knew that they had done their duty and only give their final wishes that we would complete our part of the mission. It all seemed natural enough and we knew no other way that it might have been. 

It was a brisk morning when we halted the train to perform the duty. I see didn't who shot them. I was the only one who refused to look. It must have been either Margo or Loius. I think that Margo was the one who wanted to kill Phillip as well, but I refused to let her. Unlike our parents, I knew that he couldn't choose death. I tried to explain, but no one listened. However, there were somethings that we all agreed weren't worth fighting over and Phillip was one them. The rifle was put away and Stewart started digging our parent's graves in the hardened desert sand. No one else helped and nothing else was said until he buried them. 

We were alone for the first time in our lives. We weren't meant to have a leader, but that didn't stop anybody who wanted to be one. Obviously, Phillip didn't care and neither did Inez. As the youngest, I knew better than to even bother it. But Margo, Louis, Jack, and Stewart all started talking at once. Phillip played with a wind-up top in the sand as their voices reached a cacophonous roar. Inez interpreted their buzzing for me, although I didn't need it. It was the same unspoken argument that we had all been having for weeks. None of us could agree about whether to open the letter. 

The letter contained our marriage assignments. Our parents had assigned each of us an opposite-gender spouse. We didn't know much about they chose it other than the assignments had to be shifted after Phillip was born. Naturally, he couldn't marry. However, the rest of us were meant to produce two children with our spouse. the new colonists. It would then be our joint job to raise them into functioning adults. 

As we had been told repeatedly, marriages didn't have to mean love. We were still free to admire whoever we wish. However, our spouse would likely be our closest companion and we couldn't help but be curious. Our parents had asked us not to open the letter until my twenty-eighth birthday. We were rescheduled to start our attempts at procreation between the ages of twenty-eight and thirty-three in order to ensure that the colonists would be of age by the time that they arrived in the new world. Our parents didn't want us to know our assignments before that time. They said it would only cause strife. We all knew that they were right, but we didn't care. 

Somehow though, all four of them agreed not to touch the letter. I had no idea how they reached any conclusion through the yelling, but I shrugged in agreement. Inez was busy trying to dig sand out of Phillip's wind-up top, but she shouted her approval anyway. And that was that. We never spoke of the issue for another ten years. It might have been the only promise that we kept to our parents, and in the end, we even broke that one too. 

The mourning drone came just we reboarded the train. Phillip was the only one who got excited. We all used to enjoy them as much as he did. They care packages they sent each morning were our only connection to the home that our parents left. However, it took them four years to receive our requests and four years to send it back. It turned out that, my ten-old-year self wasn't terribly good at predicting what my eighteen-year-old self might enjoy. I was especially dreading that day's delivery because it was my birthday, and they always put in something special for my birthday. 

Margo grabbed the shoe-sized box attached to the drone. In exchange, she offered up a list of things that we guessed that we might want in eight years. Stewart thought that we might be better at guessing now that we were older, but I wasn't sure that I agreed. Margo insisted that the birthday girl open the shoe box. I didn't want to, but I took it because nobody else it either. 

It contained the usual cards from school children calling us heroes and wishing me a happy birthday. Loius immediately handed one of the cards to Phillip and told him to eat it. Phillip got about half-way through before Margo managed to get it out of his mouth. She yelled at Loius as I dug through the rest of the box. I tossed Jack a book about baseball, which somehow he still loved. Then, I took out some new hair clips that were in a style I no longer cared for. When Inez shook her head, I handed them to Phillip. At least, they would be a decent toy. I tossed the rest of the letters out the window as watched as they danced next to the moving train. 

Honestly, it was enough of a birthday present that the box contained my first set of birth control pills. Somehow Margo, at the tender age of nine, had the realization that her adult self might like to have sex one day. So, she practically begged her mother to add them to the list. Our parents resisted the idea initially. They kept insisting that we should remain celibate until marriage, but Margo kept pointing out that they could hardly stop us once they were dead. So, our parents eventually agreed to allow it after we came of age and started ordering pills. It was a rule that the others had to abide by until their eighteen birthday. The train was small and the eyes of twelve watchful parents made unasked for privacy impossible. 

I knew that the others had some awkward encounters after coming of age, but I purposely never asked much about them. Jack would normally tell me anyway, but at least the others kept quiet. However, they all stared at me when I picked up the pills. They all knew that they were the kind that started working immediately, which meant that I could have any one of them in my bed tonight. I knew that they were all waiting to see who I might choose, but I wasn't ready to give them an answer. 

I realized that Margo or Inez would probably be the safest bet. Despite having no control of the matter, the three of us often got competitive over who was assigned which of the boys. The one that we all wanted changed at the time, but it always caused a lot jealous and generally caused whichever one was the object of our affection that week to get a swelled head. I didn't want to spark another fight by announcing which boy I found most desirable. And, in truth, I didn't know. However, picking either Margo or Inez seemed like it would only need to more questions. Out of all of us, I had expressed the least interest in sex and it hadn't gone unnoticed. 

As a distraction, I tossed Jack a box of flavored oats and told him to make breakfast. He wrinkled his nose. Instant oats had been a new discovery when we were kids and we had always insisted that they add it to the request list. They tried to warn us that they would grow tired of it. We hated the fact that they were right, but not as much as we hated the fact that we couldn't waste food. Jack sang his song about oatmeal as he cooked it. He had made it up as a child. We had grown about as tired of it as we had of grains, but it still made Phillip laugh so no one ever told him to stop. 

Stewart gave me a comforting smile as he helped me set the table. He told me that I didn't have to choose anybody if I didn't feel like losing my virginity quite yet. I thought that he meant it sincerely, but it was impossible to tell with Stewart. Loius scoffed and told me that it didn't matter who I picked. Nobody would care and the sex would be bad anyway. I shrugged and told him that he was probably right. Margo told him to stop talking. 

At part from Inez, the rest of our meal pasted in silence. Most of our meals did and Inez hated it. A while ago, she had started playing this game where she would ask questions to one of us, and then, when we wouldn't answer, she would answer for us. Of course, I was her target that night and she wasted no time making my inner monologue explicate. She always had a knack for knowing what we were all thinking and never feel much need to keep quiet about it. She told the table how worried I was about upsetting the delicate balance of our little group with my choice. Jack laughed. I felt my cheeks turn pink. Stewart offered me a sympathetic smile, which was of little help. 

My eyes searched the table for another ally. Louis looked his usual brand of disinterested. Phillip was pounding the table, demanding attention. Finally, I caught Margo's eye and gave a pleading stare. She snapped at Inez to stop as she grabbed Phillip's wrist. For whatever reason, Inez took the reproach far more harshly than she normally would have. She told Margo to stay out of it. Margo gripped Phillip's wrist tighter causing him to cry out in pain. She told Inez that it was time for her to grow up. Inez glared and screamed that at least she had a working uterus. Margo was probably damaged goods, like her mom. Stewart grabbed Phillip as Margo lunged for Inez, but Inez slid around the table next to me. She laughed and told Margo that she would probably only give the colony another Phillip. 

Jake stood up. Stewart looked stunned. Even Loius' mouth hung slightly open. Margo searched the room for the safest person. I knew that she would land on me. I took her by the arm and led her down the hall to my compartment. She kept her face calm, but her hands were shaking slightly as I led her away. 

It wasn't until we sat down on my bed that it hit me. This was my compartment. It no longer belonged to my parents. They didn't exist anymore. It was mine alone. I wondered if Margo would still share hers with Phillip. I thought about offering to let him stay with me but now didn't seem like the right time.

Margo stared at me with a determined expression on her face. There were no tears. It was rare for any of us to cry, but most of all Margo. Without thinking, I told her that she wasn't damaged. Everyone had said that it wasn't hereditary. She smiled and told me that all women are damaged goods. I asked what she meant, she just laughed and told me that I needed to read more books. I rolled my eyes. We both knew that I hated reading. I never liked to be reminded of the worlds that I would never know.

I asked if she was angry with Inez. She said no. She remarked that Inez was grieving. We all were. I told her that we weren't supposed to be, but that only made her laugh more. I felt slightly annoyed that I somehow still felt like I was the one in need of comfort. However, I didn't know how grief was supposed to work and I assumed that it must have been especially strange with Margo. 

I have no idea what she wanted from me. I stare at the empty beds on the other side of the room. I was glad they weren't here to tell me how to feel, or worse how not to feel. I wanted Margo to tell me. I knew that she was no more of an expert than I was and any real emotion was well beyond the both of us. However, even in the oddest of circumstances, I knew that she would still be more competent than I was. 

She took me by the shoulder and pulled me in close. I nodded, happy to trade sadness for connection. She stroked my hair softly and murmured an old song. It was almost like how my mother would have comforted me when I was young, except my mother had never comforted me in that way. Whether Margo wanted to make up for that loss, I'll never know, but it was a softness that she rarely showed and I was eager to take comfort that I was rarely given. 

We laid there long enough to have the conversation that neither of us could speak. No words were exchanged nor even knowing glances, yet somehow we both understood what the other couldn't say. I didn't feel the need to compete with her or lost in inadequacy as I stood next to her. For a brief moment, we were both the same and there was nothing more to prove. 

She kissed me or I kissed her. I wasn't sure, but I fought because I wanted it to be equal. My lips matched the force of hers and I slid my tongue over her teeth. I didn't know if my want was lust, but I knew that I was longing for something. I needed her to give it to me. I knew that it was a game that she had played before. I hated that, but I still needed her. 

She began to kiss my neck, and I could no longer match her pace. Her mouth understood more and my body was new to pleasure. I let her kiss me up and down as I felt my cunt grow wet. I tried to tease her more, but she bit at my lip. I moaned. It was no use. If she wanted to be in control, then she would be in control. 

She threw me down onto the bed and started removing my dress. I didn't bother to protest. I didn't know what I felt for her anymore, but my curiosity was too much. I needed to realize why they all found it so great and Margo was the best person to show me. I wrapped my legs around her waist and pulled her close to me. She laughed and I kissed her, but she wouldn't let me play for long. 

With a wink, she pinned my wrists over my head and started teasing my breasts. I gasped as I felt her lips make my nipples grow hard and excited. The sensation was so new and yet so wonderous. I pleaded with her not to stop and she was more than happy to indulge me. She kissed every inch of my chest until I cried with joy. Then, she finally reached her hand down to touch my clit. I gasped. The intensity was almost too much.

She put her other hand over my mouth as she began to rub. Her strokes were soft and gentle. I tried not to scream. I knew that she was capable of far more and I was gratefully for restraint. I realized that she didn't want to give me more than I could handle and I wanted to so her that I could take it. 

She moved her hand faster, carefully going around and around my clit. I felt myself heat up and I squirmed. I wanted to last longer for her. I wanted to show her that I wasn't weak, but she didn't care about my ego. She wanted me to cum. She kissed me again to tempt me further. Her lips now held even more passion than before. I couldn't resist them. I kissed her back as I felt my body start to tremble. She smirked and began kissing my neck again. 

I wiggled and pleaded, trying to fight off the craving in my pussy. But, it was no use. She bit into my neck and I felt myself break. Waves of pleasure washed over me as I felt her fingers dance over my clit. Her hand went back over my lips and I felt my warm gasping breathe against the softness of her palm. I didn't fight it. I let my body writhe with joy. I knew it was what she wanted. I knew that it was what I wanted. It was all so wonderful and new. 

She gave me a final kiss as I cooled down. Then, she smirked and I redressed quickly. I didn't offer to return the favor. I knew that she was happy enough to have gotten the better of me, and in truth, I didn't mind. At the least, it meant that I didn't have to make any more choices. She was my first and the others already knew it. 

There were no thank-yous exchanged. We simply returned to the dining car. Fortunately, there was no tension left in the room by the time we got there. Jack and Stewart were trying to teach Phillip to make a flying machine with the leftover oatmeal box. Inez was doing needlepoint. Louis was brooding. Everything seemed so normal that it was almost as if the morning hadn't happened. 

I expected Margo to tell the boys to make better use of the recyclables, but she just sat down next to Inez and pulled out a book. I felt a twinge of jealousy as the ease of her forgiveness. The two had always shared an intensity that I lacked. It made them closer, and sometimes, I hated them for it. Louis gave me a small grin. He knew my troubles, but I refused to acknowledge his glare. Instead, I told Jack that I could make a better flying machine than him. I knew that Margo wouldn't stop our inevitable contest, which I won. I don't remember what I did for the rest of the day, but it was still the best birthday that I ever had.


End file.
